Mentor for my WIP A Change of Heart

I have enlisted my good friend and author, Crystal Wilkinson, whom I met at Antioch Writers Workshop in Yellow Springs, Ohio. I was privileged to be in her workshop. In a later year she also critiqued a short story of mine. At any rate I've been sending her 45 pages of the WIP and she is giving me feedback on suggested improvements and pointing out my strong points as well. I'll soon send her the third 45 page packet, hopefully in May. A Change of Heart features my characters Leroy and Jody from my 1950s short story Lab Partners (see the image at left) only I've cast them into modern day and stretched it into a 72,000 word novel. A brief mention of one of my weak points is that I hurry through a scene without describing the setting. I am inconsistent on this point as at other times I describe in detail the surroundings.

Well, the internet bailed on me after I was ready to post. Isn't that special? Wild Rose requested, based on my synopsis, the full manuscript of Marcy's Struggle. I can hope for the best. Leanne mentioned she liked the college setting but didn't like the long time frame of the story taking place. I explained that the long time frame in my synopsis was actually back story. The actual length of time for this sweet romance is one college year: Marcy's final graduate school year. So I'll hope for the best. I may hear soon or several days from now based on their work load.

Terribly remiss at posting

I'm surprised at how long it has been since I've posted. It doesn't seem like December. Not much has happened since then. I have a synopsis at Wild Rose Press on a short romance story entitled Marcy's Struggle awaiting its fate. I'm revising slightly my science fiction thriller The Higher Mission for submission to DAW Books. They will accepted unagented manuscripts. I've reaped several rejections by agents on my most recent novel A Change of Heart. That features my Lab Partners characters Leroy and Jody only cast into modern times. There has been one more purchaser of my story Small is Beautiful at Smashwords.
Family problems and duties has taken away my writing time and posting time. I've had to go on digest with one yahoo group and am still active with The Sweetest Romance Authors Yahoo group. That is briefly what I've been involved with since December in the writing line.

I've pasted in my short Unspoken Love

My very short story Unspoken Love seems to have disappeared off my Allromanceebooks. It was in the newsletter section and I guess they don't retain anything that is over two years old. It appeared there on September 20, 2008. This is very short as per their guidelines. I first penned this at a writers conference in 2008 I believe. It won't take you long.


UNSPOKEN LOVE
BY
LARRY HAMMERSLEY
The brown, wooden sign with white letters read Antioch College. Rounded hedges and a circle of bricks stacked two high surrounded the sign. A myriad of flowers flaunting a kaleidoscope of colors, violet, yellow, red, orange, nestled within that stone circle, threatening to break out into the nearby green carpet of grass. A tree donated its protective shade.
A hundred yards away, a four-story brick building stood. It was there that my eyes first feasted upon her. From the doorway she came, her steps short and rapid, a purpose in those gentle strides. Even from this distance, I knew she was beautiful. Beauty. Is it painted lips, perfect wavy blonde hair, and a model’s figure? No. What of her beauty? The closer she approached, the more inadequate words became to describe that beauty. Her smile, a blushing innocence, burst forth in its gentleness as of the sun peaking around the edge of a cloud.
Her eyes glued to mine and she stopped. I did not scan her from head to toe nor did she me. My breath caught, a connection with her affecting all my senses, sight, taste, touch, hearing, smelling seemed sensitive like never before. Brilliant colors flood my eyes, the freshness of the flowers and hedges exciting my taste, the feel of the light wind caressing my skin, the rustling of each leaf distinct from every other leaf distinguished by my ears, the fragrance of each flower recognized in turn by my nose.
She moved with grace, her steps delicate, feminine as she came, stopped, and placed one of her hands on one of the rounded hedges. She gazed at the hedge a few seconds, then at me. My heart melted. I approached her, daring to stand within a few feet of her. I placed my hand on the hedge next to hers, the prickly stems threatening to break my focus on her. She smiled, cocked her head a little and then rested her free hand on mine. I sighed and laid my free hand on hers. So soft, her hand under mine, so warm, her hand on top of mine. The gouging stems became a dim memory.
I gave a head motion toward the flowers and we skirted the circle of bricks, stopping first at purple blossoms, kneeling. She moved her full skirt up slightly, her bare knees resting in the grass. She touched a flower, and I touched the top of her hand. I touched another flower and she touched the top of my hand. The aromatic essence, the fragile petals, the intense violet color channeled through each of our hands, arms, heart and back into our other hands, arms and heart. The touch, smell, sight mixed from heart to heart. Each group of flowers around the brick perimeter kept building, pouring into my heart and I could feel it into her heart too.
I stood up and grasped her hand, helping her to lift from her bended knees. She clasped her hands on mine, facing me. Our hands lifted slightly, then our eyes met, hers piercing to my core. I could see her knowledge of my heart and I watched her take a deep breath, tilting her head up, her face flushing, her lips parting, her eyes moving from one spot to another on my face. I didn’t know what lovely part on her face, or hair to enjoy. No matter how I tried, I couldn’t get enough of the emotional feast for it consumed me. I started to speak, but she raised her forefinger, placed it on my lips, and puckered her mouth, adding to her insistence that I remain silent. A most wonderful enlightenment, building to full force now, swamped me. I knew we belonged together, and would never part.

My short story at Smashwords

I have a short, sweet romance story at Smashwords. It is a story that was workshopped to death at the 2008 writers' conference at Antioch in Yellow Springs. After that it was rejected by an online site. I believed in the story and had it published at Smashwords with the help of Miss Mae. She did the cover and formatted it for me. The link is http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/30971. You can read 40% of it without springing for the ninety-nine cents. The title is Small is Beautiful and is in a college setting. Judy Compton is five foot one and the towering basketball player, Brad Whitherspoon who is six foot five has caught her eye big time. Can she overcome her concern for her shortness and compete with the voluptuous Yvonne Dancing who is the Platinum girl in the marching band?

Queries and rejections

The rejections from agents are rolling in as I expected. Two out of the four I've put out there have already sent their rejections stating it isn't right for their agency. I question this answer as all the agencies have stated they are looking for romance. A Change of Heart is purely romance and nothing else. No word from Pedestal Magazine. My Wild Rose story is now in the right hands. I hate to be negative but I expect a rejection from that one too. I learned via one of the yahoo groups I'm active in that the publisher I sent my SF novel starring Cramer and Mona is having family problems so I'd best not email them to ask the status. November 15 will make four months for that one. I have other possibilities for my novels and will explore those when I receive the negative replies I'm expecting.
One positive thing though is the editor appreciation day at Wild Rose always nets me replies from those editors that worked with me on my accepted stories. I always email Natasha Bacchus via the Wild Rose marketing lady, Lisa and she sends my email on to Ms. Bacchus who is no longer an editor at Wild Rose but worked extensively with me on the story Motorcycle Woman and although Wild Rose rejected it Natasha helped me considerably and that resulted on it being accepted at Red Rose. Well, Ms. Bacchus actually answered my appreciation email and said some really nice things to me. It is the first time I've heard from her and what she said lifted my spirits. We need our spirits lifted in this world of rejections. I thank the ladies from RAMP and Sweetest Romance Authors yahoo groups for their encouragement.
Until next time drop in and comment. Larry

I'm querying

Again, I've been neglecting my posting. I have been posting to friends blogs and sites though. I see I have two followers now. Glad to see that. My subject talks of querying.
I've had the first three chapters of my SF novel, The Higher Mission with Whimsical Publications for three months and two weeks tomorrow and no word. They state a response from one to three months. I'm going to email them today and see what the status is. Also, I've began querying agents about my fifth novel, A Change of Heart, the sweet romance between Leroy and Jody, my Lab Partners characters. I have completed a short romance story entitled Big Is Beautiful and submitted a query to Wild Rose Press but the address they gave bounced. I've emailed Leanne the head editor of the Sweetheart Rose Line where my story belongs but have heard no word on that. I probably should have emailed Lisa at Wild Rose and may do that before the day is out. One more item and I'll end. I submitted a revised short story to The Pedestal Magazine, an online mag that pays very well. The story is entitled Beyond The Fence and is not romance. It is a tale of strangeness. Anybody interested in the contents of any of my submissions I've mentioned here be sure and let me know via comments. Thank you in advance for checking into my blog. I hope someday to have a website. A friend was constructing one for me but I've not heard from her in a long time. Time for another email. Larry